Wednesday, June 27, 2012

How my balance organ realized it appreciates shampoo...

This is a small story for all the people who don’t give a $%^& when going out of the house with a hairdo so fat you can bake fries in it. You might not even notice it yourself, but you will for sure saddle up your fellow human being with this unpleasant smell. Brrr.

The reason that I write this story is because I was struggling not to throw up when taking a bus ride to Helsinki-Vantaa airport in Finland. My balance organ is rather sensitive so therefore I’m not the biggest fan of driving in busses and cars. My bus happened to drive through every little Finnish farmer village in order to bring the locals closer to civilization. All the curves made me breath like a pregnant women some minutes before giving birth to a little baby. This was the only way to prevent my breakfast from coming out.

Nevertheless, in the middle of nowhere the bus stopped and let a 60-year old smiling woman in. In my opinion age is no excuse not to take care about your looks and hygiene anymore. It was already visible from a distance: instead of many happy hairs floating on the wind it seemed like she only had 20 bundles of thin hairs all clumped together, shining so much that it couldn’t be called a ‘fresh, healthy glow’ anymore. Even though the bus was almost completely empty, she seated right in front of me, immediately placing her chair backwards into relax mode. So, she was practically laying on my lap.

We continued our trip towards to south. I kept on struggling with my car sickness. No pregnant-women-puffs for me anymore. Because of the indescribable dirtiness of the fatty hair smell I tried to prevent soaking up this aroma as much as possible. Moving to another chair in the bus would seem like an easy solution, but the balance organ just couldn’t handle any single movement without making it a very dirty and embarrassing situation for me.

 Just at the moment I sat with both hands in front of my mouth almost not being able to stand it anymore the bus driver decided to make it all a bit more unpleasant. He switched on a general air conditioning system blowing a steady wind straight through the fatty hairs right into my face. Thanks a lot! This is kind of a dirty fact I’m giving you right now, but I had to swallow the sour milk and cinnamon bread I had for breakfast three times again during my bus trip. Sorry for that.

In some kind of way listening to music makes my car sickness always a bit less worse. While still having one hand in front of my mouth – just in case – I managed to grab my mp3 player. Many, many thanks to the men from Level 42, Tears For Fears and The Alan Parsons Project to help me through this difficult time!

The moral of this story… Please don’t make it too difficult for sensitive balance organs and just make sure you have a freshly washed bundle of hair. This will please others’ eyes and nose and the nice thing is that you’ll feel a bit more attractive and confident as well.